When do you know it is time to give up and let go?
"Just… isn’t giving up allowed sometimes? Isn’t it okay to say, ‘This really hurts, so I’m going to stop trying’?" — Cath Avery
I live each day yearning for an absolute answer to this question. I know there won't be a politically correct answer, but I am just curious to know how different people are subjected to their own views.
The only kin that loved me so much so, my beloved grandmother, passed away in 2008. 9 years ago, and until this day, I have never forgotten how it felt, that tormenting and agonising pain as I watch the undertakers lower her coffin into her grave while they covered her with the frigid earth till I could no longer see her nor the coffin which she peacefully laid in.
It never occurred to me that one day I'd be able to let it go, move on and carry on with my life. That fateful day when I lost someone I deeply loved, it created a cavity in my heart which till this day, has never been filled.
What is it that's stopping me from looking forward?
The memories, and the unconditional love I had for her.
All these years, I've grown to know that the pain doesn't actually go away. It will always be there to serve as a reminder, and you will have to live with it.
Same goes for relationships, how do you one day suddenly come to a realisation that you no longer love your partner and just, leave?
After spending so much time with them, after all that you have been through, after all the sacrifices made, after all the memories that were created and shared, after all that you have fought to be where you are right now, how do you have the courage to just say give up and call it quits? How.....?
Stay, and continue being in pain?
Leave, and also be in pain?
Ultimately, you are still going to be in pain...
To the ones that chose to leave,
I have always wondered, how do you actually give up and move on?
How do you just leave it all behind as though they were never there?
How do you gather the courage or strength in you to just walk away?
Do you not regret?
Was it painful or hard walking away and letting go?
Did they not love you enough for you to stay, or is it you who did not love them enough to stay?
So are you genuinely happy with your choice?
How do you find the will to carry on with life after walking away and letting go of everything?
Or are you sad because you feel like you have no other choice but to leave because your feelings are already numb?
And to the ones that were left behind instead,
After spending so much time with your other significant half, as though they are already a part of your life, how do you actually cope when one day he or she suddenly leaves?
How do you carry on with life without them anymore?
Do you regret not holding them back or cherishing them?
If you loved them with all your heart and never once forsaken them nor taken them for granted, then why would they still leave?
Are you sad that they left because you loved them with every inch of your body, every ounce of your soul, and every beat of your heart?
Are you sad that they left because clearly, you haven't done anything wrong and you are in a state of despair wondering if you haven't done enough?
Or are you glad that they left because they fail to see the good in you?
What if you already know you have to let go, or it's time to let go but you can't?
You just can't let go because of the memories, because of all the times that were once shared, all the things that you have been through together, and you can't let go because even the slightest glimpse of hope gives you the courage to grab and hold onto it, believing that maybe, just maybe persisting would lead to a happy ending.
And with that being said, how do you find the will to carry on with life if you did not make the correct choice and end up losing the person you love?
Do you regret it for life and bring it forward to your children in future, telling them not to follow in your footsteps?
The funny thing is you don't get to choose what life decides to throw at you.
Every decision made is a gamble, isn't it? You wouldn't know what would the outcome be like...
I have also wondered,
How do people fall in love with someone else when they already have a significant other?
Does that mean that you don't love your partner enough to be driven in being committed?
Who gets to decide what's wrong or right?
What if you can't stop these feelings from coming?
If you can walk together with your partner for years, why would you walk away with someone else whom you just met a couple of days, weeks or months ago?
Do you blame it on fate for meeting someone that would eventually change your life drastically?
“‘Was it hard?”’ I ask. ‘Letting go?’ ‘Not as hard as holding on to something that wasn’t real.'”
“Sometimes we get sad about things and we don’t like to tell other people that we are sad about them. We like to keep it a secret. Or sometimes, we are sad but we really don’t know why we are sad, so we say we aren’t sad but we really are.”
No matter what the outcome may be, what circumstances we would have to face eventually, I know that a part of me would continue to love you and keep the love you had once given me forever.
2 comments
She left me saying the same words from your last paragraph. I still feel really sad but she found someone she loved and i feel happy for her. She was the one that changed me from a freaking yp to someone that values financial stability. I owe her so much..
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry to hear that... I am honestly glad you're happy for her, happy that she found someone she loves and you respect that. Really shows how courageous you are and your level of maturity. People come and go, I guess that is part and parcel of life. It's only through all these experiences we learn to grow and be a better person. Whatever you do, and wherever life may take you, I hope that you continue to be strong and embrace what life has to offer you. Someday, it will all make sense, and I sincerely hope you will be genuinely happy no matter what. :)
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