In a blink of an eye, a year has passed and I've finally completed Year 2. Time passes really quickly doesn't it? Just a while ago, I blogged about my Year 1 story and now poof, i'm done with Year 2. Wow, just wow. I can't wait to be blogging about my graduation already HAHAH!

To sum it all, I think Year 2 passed by really quickly. I was neither happy nor sad. I think I've already grew accustomed to my poly life, just wanting to go home each passing day. It was a tough year for me, having to face both Culinary and Service Practicum. Trust me, it was a living hell to me especially when I know I'm not cut out nor interested in this F&B industry anymore. 

Well, at least I'm done with these 2 major components in my course, and yes, it is a significant achievement. 

Culinary Practicum: 18 weeks of cooking in the kitchen every day, 8am-4/6pm.

Service Practicum: 14 weeks of service twice a week, 8am-4/6pm.

You must be thinking, ok la service practicum twice a week nia. Excuse me, we still got exams for other modules one ok HAHA! At least for Culinary practicum, we didn't have any exams because it was purely practical every single day. Nevertheless, it was legit hell. The training we were put through, all the behind the scenes, waking up at 5.30am each morning for service/culinary practicum....... 

Sometimes I just think to myself, what am I doing here? I don't remember opting for all these HAHA! 

I've already written a blogpost on my Culinary Practicum days so now I'll be talking more on Service Practicum and summing up my Year 2 days!

Let's start!

Service Practicum

Last day at Sugarloaf!!!! A cafe at our school!

Anyway, Service practicum wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. The only thing I dreaded about Service was Mr Goh's screaming. That's all. I still remember the days when I was still in culinary practicum, I would hear Mr Goh (our service tutor) screaming at the top of his lungs at his students during roll call.

Omg man, I dreaded Service so badly. I was super afraid of Mr Goh no joke, like I truly believe EVERYONE is afraid of him, even the other tutors.

When he screams, lol the whole Temasek culinary academy building confirm can hear. Macam earthquake magnitude 8.0 one LEGIT.

So anyway, we had the golden opportunity to take part in a super grand event, Dr NK Yong's 90th birthday at Capella too! It's like super grand to the point famous wine producers from all over the world came down just to celebrate his birthday, and food was cooked by celebrity chefs! Furthermore, our LOVELY Mr Goh volunteered us to serve them!

Not all of us participated in this event though.
Those who were in ideation during the event were exempted. Unfortunately and fortunately, I wasn't exempted la lol.

Anyway, here are some photos at the event!!!!!

P.s Do not judge how we look please, this is how we service students look during service LOL!

Bobian one, this is our grooming standard.
NO strand of hair must be sticking out.

Please hor, our grooming everyday graded one sia zzzz. You guys have no idea how much shit we have gone through during our service.

Strict like hell.
Dyed my hair black 3 times also cuz of Service. :')

Please appreciate our grooming even though I know we look like jokes.....


This was my group at the event!

You know it's funny how I already feel ugly enough, but Culinary and Service Practicum made me feel what ugliness is on a whole new level.

SUPER ATAS RIGHT?! I KNOW RIGHT?!?!?! Do you know how much you'd have to pay for each seat for that day? $2000. :')

Omg my forehead shining brighter than my future.

A lot of people say I look like air stewardess HAHA I FEEL LIKE FLYING BUT SADLY I CAN'T QUALIFY CUZ I SHORT AF. Life is hard.

The funny thing about this group photo is Mr Goh grabbing onto my arm I don't know for what, maybe because I wanted to run away to another spot initially HAHAH! SIBEI AWKWARD I TELL YOU?! Remember when I said I was super afraid of Mr Goh especially when he screams, omg earthquake magnitude 8.0..... Then he over there grabbing my arm throughout the entire photo taking omg...

Service was in fact, much more fun for me compared to Culinary. There wasn't a single day I broke down in Service, while I had a few in Culinary. I used to fear Mr Goh, but now I don't. He is a super funny guy I swear, and his jokes always make me crack up.

Writing this makes me think of Mr Goh and his standard speeches...
"I only work at 1 speed, Maximum speed"
"ALL HELL WILL BREAK LOOSE"
"There's dumb, and there's you"
"If you ever embarrass me, I will personally send you to hell."
"YOU will not fail me."

Thinking of Mr Goh, of course, there were other service tutors who were exceptionally funny as well.

Mr Ko.

His accent omg, everyone forever mimicking him one HAHA!

"Cannot be what."
"K-SHIER" (it's cashier la)
"ah like this"

Mr Chong also, wah he damn annoying.

I still remember when we were practicing how to uncork wine bottles, my cork got stuck inside the wine bottle. So I went up to him and said:

AND THEN THIS MR CHONG FREAKING ANNOUNCED IT TO THE WHOLE CLASS WHAT I SAID, AND THE WHOLE CLASS LAUGHED. WAH TOH.

However, it's all these little things which make Service so much more interesting and memorable.

Service sort of went smoothly for me, but of course there were tons of downs to it. 

There were many times I felt like breaking down too, but I stood still and held my tears. I had to pull myself together all the time and tell myself, stay strong, you're not alone, you're not facing this yourself.

I myself know that I am weak. I am, I fucking know that. 

No one is gonna be there to hold your hand and guide you along the way, no one. 

If you are good. you are good. People will respect you, and love being with you.

If you suck, lol, you'd get bitched around behind your back. Then again, what can you do? You are weak, you have to suck it up. If people wanna talk shit about you, it's the fact, isn't it? What can you do? Prove to them you don't suck? Hahah, come on guys let's be real, do you think anyone cares? Of course not. This is what being in this course taught me. You have to be emotionally and mentally strong.

I believe that if you want to be in this industry, you either make or break friendships and all the time, it is the latter. 

There are definitely people out there looking down on me, and despising me due to my inferiority and incompetence. I know that.

There are many times I just wish I was stronger, more capable, more agile, more confident. 

No matter how hard you try to be better, no one would actually care to give a shit or recognise your efforts. Everyone's just busy trying to survive out there. 

I have met so many people who pissed the hell out of me too, especially those arrogant and condescending ones.

To me, I feel that people have the rights to say or think whatever they want. As long as you know these people don't mean shit to you, their words will mean nothing to you. Their words are powerless as long as you believe in yourself, believe that you're a strong individual who is worth much more than their puny comments. 

If they are truly your friends, they will encourage you, motivate you, lend a helping hand to you in times of need, and will be there to guide you along the way to be a better person. 

Yes, I know I am weak, and I know I am incapable and incompetent. There are at times I feel so inferior and despondent to the point I'd often beat myself up and blame myself for being so weak, I wish I was stronger. 

However, I've learned that instead of just wishing, why not make do with what I have, or what I am blessed with? 

If you see a glass half filled with water, do you say it's half empty or half full?

I am good with kids and the elderly. I am good at listening to people and giving them advice. I can play the piano. I like to make people smile. I like to help people whenever I can. 

I can use any of these traits that I am good in to make a difference in other peoples' lives. 

Anyone can do it, as long as you believe in yourself.

Just because I signed up to be in the wrong course, to be beaten up again and again, doesn't change the fact that I am still capable in other areas, just not in this aspect.

Just because I am not good in certain areas, doesn't mean I am an incapable person.

If you are facing any of these, I hope my words can encourage you.

There's this Chinese saying, "天外有天，一山还比一山高“

Which means there is always someone better than you.

Stay true to yourself and to people who matters to you. 

Learn to be kind and compassionate.

I would also like to use this chance to praise God. I do feel blessed throughout the year, even though there were countless setbacks and challenges.

When I first started Culinary practicum, all I wished was to not injured myself or anything hahaha cuz I everything also scared pain.

Before I started Service Practicum, all I wished was for Mr Goh to not scream at me. HAHAH! Legit, like he screams at anyone and everyone. Even girls, yes even girls. When he screams, he goes super near your face and shouts in your face one leh LOL!

And yes, all my wish came true. I did not injure myself when I was in the kitchen at all, even when literally all my friends had minor cuts here and there, I had none.

Mr Goh also did not scream at me at all, the rest of the tutors too. I was so afraid like legit, cuz I'm a super emotional and sensitive person, little bit also will cry HAHA but at the end of the day, I had such great time with my service tutors. Even now when service is over, I do miss them.

I'm thankful to have a few people in my course who understands how I feel and we are always in this together. So yup...

Overall, Service has really been a super great experience and I really don't mind going through this semester again even though it is fucking tiring. I learned so much and am able to improve myself as a person, most of all I did enjoy myself.

Typing this now makes me feel all nostalgic....

Anyways, these are the photos taken at the completion of our execution week!

Thanking God that I was placed in the best group ever with people who make Service so much more bearable! Ofcuz, these 2 aren't the only ones!!! Presenting Daenia and Hadirah!!! <3 During Service, we'd always be like: "wa shit I scared sia how ah?" "Eh steady we together leh today" "I hope that we are working together today." "Die already die already, nvm we all die together" HAHAHAH! I just feel like these people clearly know how exactly I feel all the time, inferior, that's the word. So yup, thankful for them! :')

Last day at Toptable!!!

Can't remember why I was emo, actually I'm always emo so yah no need for an explanation HAHA! Prof test 2... Damn.... Thank you to my baenia for the drink!!! <3

Got to take a photo with a celebrity chef, Chef Tetsuya Wakuda, during the Capella event which we took part in! He and another famous chef were the star chefs for the night okay, that's why I say this event sibei grand HAHA!

Back when Baenia and I were cashiers at Sugarloaf for the day and it was the cashier's job to decorate the boards behind for the menu of the day!!! Super childish and messy drawings by both baenia and I HEHE! XD

So yup, managed to persevere with 0 lateness and absence during Service and was awarded this 1 piece of paper from Mr Goh, and I just had to show it off to my family. You must be wondering why my Dad said "thanks to papa", that's because I was ALMOST late ONCE (left my house without my court shoes lol genius) and my dad fetched me to school with his bike omfg fucking fast 30 mins reach school already steady. Normally take express bus also need at least 1 hour HAHA!) So like yah, technically also thanks to my dad la....

Just a photo of me in my service uniform and look at the comments, all keep talking about my forehead zzzz. My dad once said people with large foreheads are said to be smart.

The caption says it all.

LASTLY:
I got A for Service Practicum WOOHOO PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!!!!!!!!! XD
8 CUs SIA!!!!!!!!!!! XDXD

Rest of Year 2

Well, this semester fucking sucks the worst LOL! My group project grades are so fucking bad I should just put it up for adoption cuz I can't raise it anymore.

Do you know how much it sucks to put in so much time and effort into your work but to have it destroyed but others who don't even have the intention to do well?

I was such a faggot in year 1 and now I totally understand how it feels, it sucks and I feel so guilt-ridden lol.

Now I've tried my best to put in all my time, effort, blood and sweat into my work cuz I was so determined to strive for the better, but guess what? Hohoho all fucking ruined ruined ruineddddd~~~

Really fucking hate group projects.

If only everything was individual-based, I would have sucked it up if my grades were bad.

To add on, there was this 1 tutor my entire course mates hate hahahah, if any of you guys from CCM are reading this, I think you know who la hor.

He picked on me and embarrassed me in front of my whole class.

I tell you, you have no idea how much I felt like exploding in front of him, but I can't because my grades are already so bad due to fucking group projects, and I just can't afford to retaliate since my grades lie in his god damn hands.

I just kept telling myself, Gillian, just 忍。


If you are reading this now, it means I did not remodule.

YAYYYYYY HAHAHAHAHAH!!!

I was really scared la... I was on the verge of failing his module already.
Coursework 60%, my grade was D.
The rest of the 40% relies on my final year examinations already.
So yes, I am THAT close to failing, so how can I not be stress after he even said to see me next year?!?!?!?!?

I KENUT.

Die die also must pass his module. I also kept telling my friends, just give me a D will do, or non-graded pass also can, I just don't want to remodule HIS module.

Overall, I got a C for his module.

Thank God Jesus.

Only deciding to post this after I received my results for this semester cuz later xiasuey if I really remodule hor? HAHAHAH!

Plus later the tutor pick on me even more?


Okie la also can't blame him since I always MIA from school, but he also attitude problem one hahah so obvious he hates our batch too. Like legit sia even my guai classmates also all detest him. All of us studied damn hard for his exam cuz we all diedie also don't want to remodule his module LOL.

1 week of study week, I spent the entire week studying just for his exam and only studied the night before for another exam. Couldn't give a shit anymore since my project grades were all so bad hahah might as well just all pass can liao, proceed to next level and quickly graduate.

Edit: I have received my results and to be very honest, I did not expect myself to do so well, like so much better than I even expected. Really praise the lord.

I thought I would have gotten less than GPA 2.5 like legit cuz that's how bad I really felt towards my grades, but no, I got more than 3.

3 group projects, 1 fail and 2 D+, and they are like 40% my entire grade. So yeah, throughout this semester I was like fuck it already I can't give a shit about this semester anymore like I'm totally done.

I felt like no matter how hard I tried to study or do better, my group projects already pulled me down so significantly, I might as well just pass can already.

Skipped school so frequently to the point I even received 2 warning letters too LOL!

Really felt super hopeless this Semester but ironically, my GPA this semester is better than all my results so far in Poly?! And I believe it is all thanks to the distinction which I scored for Service Practicum.

God is truly amazing. Just want to take this chance to be grateful for whatever I am constantly blessed with.

So yup... I think this semester passed by quite quickly too since I often MIA haha. (Not something to be proud of but yeah, that's my aim from the very beginning, faster get this stupid diploma over and done with).

Oh yes, I would also want to take this chance to extend my gratitude to another tutor as well.

I guess God is fair?
When 1 door closes, another opens.

So even though I had this fucked up tutor, there is another super kind and nice tutor on the other hand as well.

Really appreciate tutors/teachers who go the extra mile to care for their students.

This tutor gave me the courage and motivation to continue striving and doing better for my grades. Like he didn't give up on me, and that's 1 reason for me to believe in myself because someone out there believes in me.

There was a point in time during this semester when I broke down so badly, and the first thing I did was to email him and asked if I could chat with him.

Wah, he replied damn fast like within an hour, and told me to let him know when I'm free.

Talked to him about my problems and everything, and he said, "Gillian, I know this sounds weird but I am really happy."
And I was like, "huh? What?"
And he proceeded by saying, "No I'm happy because you care about your studies! Like I am really surprised."
(Hahah maybe because I always MIA and seem like I don't give a shit about my studies all the time. He knows that I hate this course too, he knows literally everything about his students.)

He also said encouraging things like, "Gillian, I want you to know that you are not stupid, you are a smart girl, I know you can do this."

So yeah, I'm super grateful to have such a kind tutor like him who believes in me...

Like even if they were just words to make me feel better, at least I did and he motivates me so much. He isn't even a counsellor man.

Spent like 1.5 hours talking to him too, and I'm just super grateful that he sacrificed his precious time just to listen to me too.

MOE should reward him sia legit HAHA!!!!!

So yup, thank you to that 1 tutor.

I won't disclose him now, maybe next time when I graduate hehe! XD

This semester has been a really tough one, but it has also been a fruitful one.

Even though many things keep crashing down one after another, at the end of the day I did better than what I actually hoped or expected.

Thankful for the genuine friends I've made in poly as well. You guys know who you are. Super love y'all so much, leading poly life seems a lot easier with the support of you guys.

Just 1 more year, I can do this.

Can't believe I've already persevered 2 years of hell.

Someday, I'll read my blog again and tell myself:
I finally made it.

Sums up my life in Year 2!

Thank you for reading!
I hope life goes well for you guys and have a great day ahead! <3

Ciao!