It's hard to fully let go of someone truly dear to you isn't it?
And the only reason why it's always holding us back is because of the memories.
And the only reason why it's always holding us back is because of the memories.
Isn't it just so frustrating to keep holding on to something you know will never ever come back to you?
No matter what you do, nothing can be salvaged anymore. You clearly know that.
The only thing you can do is to let go.
But letting go is the last thing you wanna do.
Even if there's a slight hope in salvaging, you'd still hold on.
Not because you're stubborn or naive.
But because you fear something so great will never ever happen again in your life.
You regret so many things in life.
You just wished you were given a 2nd last chance to prove it all wrong.
You just wish time could rewind, so you could have made a wiser choice or decision that wouldn't kill you mentally and emotionally right now.
However, just like fallen petals, these flowers are already dead.
There's no point picking these petals up thinking that if you were to replant them, they'd grow again.
No, they won't. Their time has already stopped.
It's the same for us, our time is long gone as well.
What we're only left with are the memories.
We can only cherish what's left of the memories.
Just like these flowers, they're left with their petals to fall and wilt.
But if we were to encase these petals and protect it fervently, they won't wilt.
There's no point regretting anymore.
What's done is already done.
No point harping on the choices you have made.
What's meant to be, will be. What's not meant to be, will never be.
You will meet all sorts of flowers again.
But none will be like the flower you once loved so dearly.
Keep in mind that everything happens for a reason.
Appreciate what you have now before it's too late.
To the one I love, you will always be loved. Now and forever.
I was waiting all these while, naively thinking that it could still be salvaged but in reality, there was no hope anymore.
I was told many a times to give up, let go and move on.
I was stubborn, I refused. I kept myself in denial. I wanted to restore everything and start afresh. I thought it was possible if I persevered, kept having faith and didn't give up.
I was so determined, and I kept on waiting and waiting despite being in so much pain.
Finally, I told myself.
I had enough. I have tried my best and done my part.
One-sided feelings will never get me anywhere. It will only hurt and destroy me.
I don't want to let go. Even all these while, if there's even the slightest hope, I would definitely wait.
"I don't want to run away, but I can't take it, I don't understand. If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am? Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?"
Despite all, everyone would be like:
"You're still young, you can find someone better."
Indeed, there's definitely someone out there better than you, and someone out there better than I am.
But you're all that I want, you're more than enough for me, what more do I want to wish for?
If I let go of you now, I know that I will never be able to meet someone like you again.
And if I were to meet someone new again, I'd have to restart everything from scratch.
Hoping he'd accept my past, my character, my behavior, my bad temper, all my flaws, and basically all of me. Meeting his friends and family, and creating new memories with a different person again.
It's exhausting. I am so tired of going through this entire process again.
The worst thing is, I can never imagine you happily living your life with another person.
I just can't.
That's why I just refuse to let you go and move on with my life.
How so much I wished we could be given another chance to start all over again.
I know that no matter how much I regret now, things won't be able to go back to how it was anymore.
I tried, I waited, but it's futile.
"A million words would not bring you back. I know, because I've tried. Neither would a million tears, I know because I've cried."
I'm hurting myself so badly while trying to restore everything on my own.
There's nothing that could be done anymore.
Even though it may still hurt while letting go of you, I still have to move on.
I'm so sorry I took you for granted and for all the times that I thought would last somehow.
I'll never ever forget towards how much I love you, no matter how much I change inside.
Every day since the day I first met you, they are all irreplaceable. And it will remain in my heart forever.
So up until now, thank you for everything.
Kirameki - Wacci
It's a song I've always loved ever since I first watched this anime (shigatsu wa kimi no uso) and this song best describe my feelings.
Instrumental.
Thank you for reading thus far. :-)
