Gillian Yoong ♥

gone, but not forgotten.

By Gillian Yoong ♥ - Tuesday, April 16, 2024

I wouldn't have thought there would be another entry to come after nearly 5 years.

I am so overwhelmed with emotions and feelings, I do not know where or how or what I can do to alleviate or dissipate them.

My family lost a part of us on 11th April 2024.

Today, 16th April 2024, was the very first time I went to Mandai Crematorium and witnessed the full ritual of bidding goodbye to a loved one, for eternity. When I heard those words, "goodbye, I love you", it shattered my entire being.

I had my fair share of experience of a loss when I was 10, when my grandma passed away and I witnessed her burial. It was so painful even as a 10 year old, and I knew this was a kind of pain I would never want to go through again.

16 years later, the memory of watching my grandma getting buried is still vividly etched in my mind. I don't think I would ever forget that.

Would I consider myself privileged for not going through such an experience again in the next 16 years? Maybe I should. But today, today was utterly heart wrenching.

I have never seen both my brothers cry in years, perhaps a decade. But today, I watched them break down and torn apart, and it was a scene I beg God on my knees I would never want to see again.

Watching what happened unfold for my brother was so painful and unimaginable. Receiving a text from him telling me, "i really don't know how to continue my life without x", was heartbreaking. My brother is such a kind and good person, so why this ordeal on him God, why?

It took me so long to overcome the pain and grief following my grandmother's passing. Was I too complacent for taking my time to process the loss? I don't think I have completely healed, and now, facing a similar experience is resurrecting the same agonising emotions I felt 16 years ago.

Every loss I am put through destroys a part of me. No words can fully acknowledge the magnitude of the loss one experiences, and perhaps the overwhelming and inconsolable nature of grief is what makes it so difficult to navigate.

I am always reminded the departed ones are in a better place now, and we should find solace in this. We should celebrate their living in the memories that have been made. Like what Kodaline said in Angel:

And there are things in life we can't explainIn the blink of an eye everything can changeSo just appreciate the little things'Cause you never know what tomorrow brings

I think it would take me a while to recover from this.

May you find peace, joy and love in wherever you are. Thank you for being a part of us, and always will be. I will see you again someday. Rest well angel. 🤍

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School

Final Semester 3.2 in Poly & Graduation!!! 4th May 2018

By Gillian Yoong ♥ - Saturday, December 28, 2019

Hi guys, I know this is super belated (1.5 years belated wtf) but better late than never right??????? HAHA JK. I actually had this blog post written right after my graduation and had almost 80% completed, but then my laptop decided to crash %^@%!!^#! That's why it took me so long to complete it cuz my spirits were crushed man. Oh wells, life goes on either way.

I wanted to give up writing, but I realised I have been jotting down my life in poly since year 1, so why not complete it once and for all. I just wanna jot down important moments and milestones in my life so that in years to come, I can continue to look back and reminisce the good old days. Or if I were to suddenly pass away or something (choi choi choi), I still have something left behind for my loved ones HAHAHEHE.

Anyway, here goes the story of my final days in poly!

To start off, of course must start off with my pride and glory. MY GRADUATION PHOTO HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

I feel like I've said this a couple of times in my previous blog posts, but I shall recapitulate my story as to why I chose this diploma and the journey I went through during these past 3 years.

The word "tough" is an understatement to describe everything I had experienced and faced here. If I had to sum my poly life in 3 adjectives, probably arduous? overwhelming? draining? Honestly, I'm not being exaggerating or anything, but I feel that there isn't a vocabulary that could describe whatever I had to go through in school. It's not as if I've been to war and had been physically tortured or whatsoever, but mentally and emotionally, yes.

My friends and the people around me all know how much I've been through, and they know how much I've suffered during the past 3 years. During my graduation, I had a myriad of people telling me how proud they were of me and I am so thankful. It felt like my efforts and pain that I've withheld were seen and understood, and this is it, finally. I am done. I have completed my journey, and thank you to the ones who were by my side rooting for me.

I don't even want to bring up the number of times I have cried, broken down, stumbled and fallen, been so battered and bruised, sometimes I wonder, how did I manage to carry on till the end. Thinking about it just makes me feel so emotional like for once, I really do deserve a pat on my back. Aside from the other accomplishments I have achieved so far in my entire life, this diploma certificate is my proudest one of all.

I graduated with a Diploma in Culinary and Catering Management from Temasek Polytechnic.

I stay in the west as well, and Temasek Polytechnic is in the east. My journey to and fro school takes about 3 hours lol. No one actually supported me in choosing Temasek Poly at all. Practically speaking, it's quite taxing when you think of the distance and journey. Even though my friends and family said no, guess whose stubborn ass still decided and applied for Temasek Polytechnic?

ME OF COURSE HAHAHAHA!

But why?

I knew what I loved to do when I was 11. I loved baking!!! I love cakes, and I love desserts. Nothing intrigues me more than baking and making sweets that look so aesthetically pleasing. I love making people happy too, and it occurred to me, "wouldn't it be nice if I am able to do something for people that could put a smile on their face?"

That's when I told myself, I want to be a patissier (pastry chef).

I did lots of research and realised that the only polytechnic that offers something similar to what I wanted was only Temasek Polytechnic. (Don't count private schools, my parents strictly objected to it.) I was initially looking at Diploma in Baking and Culinary Science. I knew I wanted to enter that course ever since then, and I worked hard towards that goal from the age of 11 all the way until I took my O levels when I was 16. I even took up Food & Nutrition as an extra subject.

My F&N teacher knew that I wanted to be a pastry chef, and told me that indeed, Temasek Polytechnic is recognised in this field. However, I wasn't a student that excelled in her studies to begin with. My teacher was telling me how the cut-off point for the diploma I wanted is rather low and judging from my current results, I was feasibly unlikely to get in.

I was so demoralised, but I do understand that my teacher was merely being realistic and practical. Even so, her words did not deter me from working hard towards what I desperately wanted. The more you tell me I cannot, the more I will show you that I can. If I want something, by hook or by crook I will get it. Sounds damn spoilt HAHA but no, I mean it in a way I will exert everything I can within my capabilities to achieve the things I yearn for in life. If you want something, trust me, nothing will stop you from wanting to get it. It's only a matter of want or don't want.

Afterward, I met a primary school senior who shares the same interest as me and also wants to be a pastry chef. She then shared with me that she's aiming to get into Culinary and Catering Management, and told me how you'd get to manage a restaurant and a cafe in school, and this diploma incorporates business studies as well, so you'd learn how to manage your own business someday.

Wah sounds damn cool la, so I immediately heeded her advice and aimed for Culinary and Catering Management instead of what I initially wanted, Baking and Culinary Science.

Out of all the 7 subjects I had to take in school, wah I tellz youz, science was my WORST subject, (constant F9s HAHAHA tragic) and of course, I wanted Business > Science too like come on, 17 year old me apparently thinks that a Business diploma sounds cooler and I'd probably get to meet more cute guys in the Business faculty hehe! (I was wrong, not a single person caught my eye sadly.)

Cut to the chase, I worked extremely hard during my O level year and despite my teacher's unintentional pessimistic attitude towards my seemingly unrealistic goal of attaining an adequate O level score that could potentially secure me a place in a diploma where its intake is only 55 people, I managed to attain an O level score that was my best results ever in my entire secondary school life that not only earned me an Edusave award for good progress, I also managed to get into the course I wanted. 5 years of hard work finally paid off. Until this day, I still feel immensely grateful.

Even though this diploma was my first choice, and blessed as I may be where I was able to get into the course I wanted unlike many of my friends who got into courses that weren't even 1 of their 12 choices, I regretted it soon after when I barely started Year 1, 1st Semester.

I was like, "what have I gotten myself into", "hmmm this one like not what I signed up for ah", "actually yo why am I here".

The phrase, "why am I here" stuck with me since my journey from Year 1 Sem 1, all the way till I graduated sia. If my poly had a yearbook where I could choose a quote to include under my graduation portrait, "why am I here" would be it.

I still remember there were a couple of us in this course exchanging the same phrase every single time we see one another, *shakes head and laughs* "why am I here", "ya same, why are we here manz". Another guy even told me after our practical lesson, "you know every day when I'm showering, I always ask myself why am I here." HAHAHAHAHA fucking funny cuz yah me too.

But why? Why suddenly regret?

Honestly, I don't really know how to explain. Like there were so many reasons and factors that made me feel and think that I don't belong here. If I had to choose just 1 reason out of the countless reason I have, nope it wasn't the distance, or how draining the course was, it was the loneliness I felt.

I feel that no matter where you go or wherever you are, even if your environment sucks, the people around you would be a source of motivation to help you get through your darkest days. Unfortunately for me, everything sucked lol.

I came here without knowing anyone, not a single soul. I came from the west, I grew up in the west and all my friends are from the west. None of my friends were that insane to actually choose Temasek Polytechnic as one of their choices.

I was super optimistic before I came here. No friends never mind, make friends lor! Meet new people, new environment, new everything, it will be fine for sure! Can meet more guys also HAHAHAHA!

I was so naively excited.

BUT HELLO I WAS WRONG.

IT WASN'T FINE AT ALL.

I had difficulty making friends, I didn't go for camp and the only "friends" or people I got to meet were my course mates that made up of about 57 people which became 50 people when I went to Year 2 LOL.

I didn't manage to click well with the people here, and in short, I was often alone and it sucks so much. In all honesty, I don't think the problem lies with how I am as a person, but more like the people here are all dead serious about their purpose of coming into this course, since everyone's aspiration here is to of course become a chef. If you ain't serious or good enough, bella ciao~

I must admit I suck and ain't that serious, I just wanted to make friends and have a fulfilling poly life, that's all. Of course, I wanted to be a pastry chef too, but I also want to have fun what. Stupid sia, then I should have gone to some basic common business course right. Dumb child is me, still enroll into a culinary school. After spending 3 years in this course, I now realised why everyone is so serious LOL. This course isn't child's play, if you want to be in it, then you jolly well be 100% involved in it. Don't waste anyone's time.

Every single day without fail, I just wanted to go home straight or find my own friends after school.

I hated school so bad, I hated being alone. This isn't the poly life I expected. I question myself constantly, is poly life supposed to be like this?

I was in a state of despair every single day, and it got so bad sometimes I just cry to myself while on my daily long bus ride to school and back home. I even told my mum I wanted to change school, but as quoted exactly from my mum, "don't be stupid. If you wanna waste my money and change school, you pay for your own school fees."

Tragic........ And here I thought my mum would sympathise with me.... :')

Furthermore, can I add on to the fact that my diploma is Culinary = F&B = practical hands-on = long hours = physically and mentally E X H A U S T I N G

No words could describe the torment I had to go through during the past 3 years, especially Year 2 where I had Culinary and Service Practicum. If you are interested to find out more about my worst year ever (Year 2), you can read on more here:

Year 2 days: http://gillianyoong.blogspot.com/2017/03/my-year-2-days.html

Culinary Practicum (kitchen/hell) days: http://gillianyoong.blogspot.com/2016/10/culinary-practicum-2016_8.html

So yup, this was my life for the past 3 years. Well, somewhat.

Of course, it wasn't all rain and thunderstorms.

I had my own fair share of sunshine and rainbows too, although if I had to compare the amount of sorrow and happiness I've experienced, it would be 80%:20% respectively.

All in all, do I regret choosing TP? Yes and no.

Yes in a way if I was given a chance to reconsider my poly choices, would I still have chosen TP CCM, the answer is no.

No ragrets coming to TP also because.... read on to find out why. :)

If I didn't choose TP CCM, what would I have chosen then?

Well, my 2nd choice at that point in time when I was choosing my 12 poly choices was Early Childhood Education from Ngee Ann Poly.

However, a part of me feels like I shouldn't regret my life choices. I mean it was what I wanted desperately at one point in time and I worked hard and fought for it. It wasn't easy achieving what I wanted after all.

Coming to TP, I've learned so so sooo much, and I believe I wouldn't have learned as much if I went to other Polys where all my friends were instead. I wouldn't have known how to embrace and appreciate solitude, and I don't think I would grow to be as independent and courageous as I would be now.

All my life, I was in a way quite pampered and I never knew how to be alone or do things all by myself. I was always surrounded by people and would always rely on the people around me for help, and even though there were certain phases in life where I had a taste of loneliness, I wasn't really entirely lonely. Not until I came to Poly.

I grew to understand, savour, and actually enjoy being in solitude. Even right now, I am sitting down in a cafe all alone sipping on my hot latte while writing about my life. I honestly find peace and tranquility while immersing myself in good music, good coffee, and a comforting warm ambiance. Time and complete peace to yourself, away from all the hustle and bustle in life. Perfect, just what I love and yearn for whenever I feel bothered and stressed. Omg, I feel like some old hag that has nothing to do with her life every day waiting for death HAHAHAHA NOOOOOO. Wanna marry someone who shares the same sentiments as me, that would be so awesome.

Lastly, I met a couple of people during my journey here in TP and these people whom I'd call my friends are friends I know would stick around in my life for a very long time. I don't have a lotttt of friends, but these people are sufficient, and I am truly contented. It's also because of these people, I feel a bit reluctant to say I regret coming to TP also HAHAHA but in all honesty, I still wouldn't choose TP if I could rewind time LA OKAY HAHAHA BUT at the end of day, everything happens for a reason and we all met for a reason too. So for that, I'm still grateful hehe. Thank you so much. <3

OKIE NEXT.

To start off with my Year 3 days, 3.1 was an internship and I've already written a separate post for it!

Out of all the semesters that consist of only modules that were in theory, my final semester was the most hectic and stressful one of all. Compared to all my other friends of the same year as me but different courses, they also agree my final semester was insane HAHAHA!

If you are a TP student, you'd know that every student needs to take 3 extra electives called CDS in order to graduate. So for my diploma course, I don't know about the rest la okie, because we have to go through an entire semester in the kitchen in Year 2.1, and Service practicum during Year 2.2 for 2/5 days, it was impossible for us to take up any electives during Year 2.

Most of the time or the majority of the students in TP would have gotten their CDS completed by Year 2. Unlucky for me and my course mates, my batch was the first batch to have an extra module called Gastronomy in Year 1.2 as well and thus, we could only take 1 CDS instead of the usual 2 my seniors would have done so in Year 1.2. Therefore, this would mean that we'd have to push back the remaining 2 CDS all the way until our final semester, Year 3.2.

So in Year 3.2 where students would normally be left with 3-4 modules, I had 6 + 1 (LEAP, some mandatory leadership module which also requires some work done la okie). Out of these 6+1 modules, 2 of them which we had to liaise with real companies, so technically they were somewhat like FYP. Rip....

Aside from the pleasant fact that I don't have to go to school on Friday, look at what time I end in general. Earliest also 5pm, then the latest 8pm wtf, macam I taking part-time diploma.

Worst of all, I have like 3-4 hours break in between 2 of my curriculum days.

I can't even go home la stupid hell, my break time = the total time I take to travel to and fro school. You know how sad or not. Yah then I can only blame myself for choosing TP in the first place ugh.

During my supposed December "holidays".
I don't even wanna think about it, I can't imagine how I managed to complete my work within the stipulated time I was given omg pats my own back HAHAHA!

Mandatory trip back to Ipoh every December and CNY, this time was Christmas and I couldn't even enjoy myself there. Was occupied with completing my work with shitty internet, bless.

Came back from Ipoh and even on my last day of 2017 where I should be celebrating my countdown, I was chionging work at Holland Village's coffee bean. Cries......

Still doesn't sound too bad YET.

In February, I was hospitalised for 3 days 3 nights. HAHA!

What happened???

IDK LEH the doctor never gave me a proper diagnosis :')

Maybe my time is near.... HAHA JK.

But in short, I had an extremely high fever for about 3 days??? And my abdomen was constantly in pain, not stomach pain or cramps pain, it feels like someone was literally punching my abdomen kind of pain. So initially they suspected appendicitis but nope, it wasn't thankfully otherwise I think you will see me writing another blog post titled "My Year 4 days" HAHAHA!

At the end of the day, my fever finally subsided and they allowed me to go home.

While in the hospital, I had assignments due during my stay also, tragic.

Guess who on the verge of death (okie I'm just being exaggerating but it was how I felt at that point in time not kidding LOL) still asked her brother to bring her laptop and complete her assignment on time?

MEEEEEEE HAHAHAHA omg I deserve an award from my tutor please #mosthardworkingstudent. Worst of all, it was an essay I had to write and I could only type with 1 hand. :') I'm pretty sure my tutor would have given me some leeway with my submission, but aiya mai la, still need to email her and provide evidence and everything, chor sia. Make my life so difficult for what, just do lor even though it was sibei gangkor typing with one hand.

Aside from these tragedies, there was a part in Sem 3.2 which I absolutely loved.

I took a CDS (elective) called Transnational Studies and I got to stay at a dorm in TP for 2 weeks!!!! Best of all, ALL my classes were directly below where I stayed. Bless.

Normally 9am classes, I need to board the bus by 7.15am from home, but while staying at the dorm, I 8.55am then make my way down to class, sometimes in my sleepwear HAHAHA! :')

Most shiok of all, after class sometimes I got those long ass breaks, I will go back to my dorm nap HEHEHE wah I enjoyed max sia guys I miss TNS so much!!!!!!

A few snippets of my life while staying in the dorm hehe!

My roommate making fun of me cuz I stay at the dorm but forgot to bring a towel..... Then she wrote in her journal I had to use tissues to wipe my body which is NOT TRUE OKAY HAHAHAH

During my long ass breaks.... <3

Daenia, my classmate crashing my dorm HAHA!

How I'd dress up for class HAHA

Supper :')

Concludes my dorm days wahahahaha loveeeee it. If you're a TP student who hasn't completed your CDS, TAKE TNS!!!!!!!! Easy to score also but only easy if your roommates/group mates are good la HAHAHA if not good then I cannot help you liao. I was blessed with a fun and good group mates but my tutor sucks...

Ending off my final phase in Sem 3.2 before I start on my graduation photos hehe!

Last day of lessons HEHEHE

NO MORE LESSONS IN POLY ANYMORE!!!!!

The module which we had been stressing out most. DONE.

My Counselling Psychology module group photo hehe, and I'm the oldest here omg they all younger than me sia sobs I feel so old. :') Bobian can only take CDS in Year 3. Thank you y'all, you guys were such a joy to work with! <3

So sweet my group mate wrote this for me and gave it to me in our last lesson. ):

Group photo with my other module group!!!!!

Gurlsssss we look like we're standing between 2 twin towers omg.

We had a gift exchange in class and 1 of my wish was "unlimited supply of milo" HAHAHA!
Thank you my secret santa!!!!

My classmates!!!!! And ft my favourite lecturer Mr Tan HEHEHE!

NEXT, GRADUATION!!!!!!!!!

4TH MAY 2018

Actually hor, my personal instagram @gillianyoong got my graduation highlights, easier to see HEHE but if you want more elaboration, can continue to read on la but I will not be sharing videos here cuz 1) my instagram highlights already have, 2) to upload a video here takes as long as how I'd reply my messages in general, 100 million years. :)

HERE GOES!!!!

My entire course photo!!!!! Quite small la, think 50 people max only. My entire course intake max 55 people only. I remember in Year 1, got 57 people one. By year 3, left 50 HAHAHA!

Okie next, some of my personal grad photos!! :D

"Come la fail me la, come." face HAHAHAHA to MR K**.

Wah I cannot, I really fucking hate this lecturer. Everyone hates him, but I hate him most probably. He like a bit sick one leh I think. Tao nao pai one. Basket still tell me in front of the entire class, "See you in my class next year." with a fucking smirk on his face, prompting me that I'd fail his module and would have to remodule. You really think I will fail your stupid module meh.

Actually yes, HAHAHAHAHA I ALMOST FAILED *%&&#%@%@%@. 60% total assignment, I attained a D sia. The other 40% relied on my final exam already. Wah if I remodule his module I sure escape to Czechoslovakia and rename myself Dorota or something. Eh but at least overall I got C+, NOT BAD OK means my exam (40% of my overall only) I did not bad to pull my D to a C+ HAHA! Plus I never ever attended any of his classes (maybe that's why he hates me so much cuz I don't give a fuck).

But anyway, PEACE OUT MF.

Stop embarrassing me Limjiu HAHAHAHA!

Okie next up! Photos with my <3 ones!!!

The first photo of course goes out to my family!!!! XD

Dad's not in the photo cuz he was in Germany working. ): Sobz. It's k.

Thank you for coming all the way to TP for me, I love y'all so much even though we give one another high blood pressure all the time hehehe.

Yes, I know, we don't look alike. I know. No, we are not adopted.

The motherz. Idk why she likes to stand until so awkward, macam I not her daughter like that.

The dog bro <3 Muacks, love you and thank you for carrying all my stuff hehe.

Toong2, hehehe!!!

And my biggest takeaway from poly <3

Ze Banana, Limjiu and Qiqi!!! :D

Itz de toongz againz

My MVP in class. <3 Always carrying me, (as in carrying my stupid ass academically so I don't fail) even though he's carrying me again in the photo. Just depicts our r/s in school HAHAHA! Love you Josh!!!! <3

My cuties for years!!!! :') Thank you for coming down to TP for jiejie, I love y'all so much please never forget that because I'll never stop loving y'all even though we may have drifted.

My 2 fave baobeis from secondary school hehe. Jiejie alwaysssss lovessss y'all!!!!!! <3
Also my biggest takeaway from secondary school. ^__~

Photobomb some more Jarran

Chin to the hongz. Purposely bend down so we same height. Annoying child HAHAHA!

Also, to my 2 precious cell group members, thank you Jessie and Vivian for coming down for me. Really, really, appreciate y'all. :')

Just some group shots of me and my bimbos!!!! :p

Wa, almost ALMOST HAHAHA! But I don't mind, with my hottie babe ofcuz don't mind hehehe! Damn cute, she came with balloons for me!!!!!! I love you my baozi!!! ): <3

Oh ya, and I forgot to mention this idiotic Marcus got me leek for my graduation...... You think you very humourous izzit xiaogouz HAHAHA!

Aiyo cute die me my baobeiz hehe!!!

I love you my Yong Qiqi!!!! XD

Guess who got me flowers for my grad even though she couldn't make it.... :')
Jamie low HUIHUI. HAHAHA you damn sucker eh do this kinda sweet cringey thing for me, buy me flowers all, so nice to me, I mean thank u de very much but it's so unlike you, just seemed like you were possessed but for the greater good. HAHAHAHA I will continue to annoy the living hell out of you sia even on my death bed. I love you still hiakhiakhiak.

Flowers I got on my graduation, and the sentimental me as always can't bear to throw them away. Therefore, I went to find a container to store these flowers. As I'm updating this post on 16th December 2019, it's been 1.5 years now since my graduation on the 4th of May 2018, and yes, these flowers are still at home. Dried up though HAHAHA and NO, I didn't throw them away. :')

So pretty hor these flowers!!!!!!! <3 <3 <3

Love it so much, thank you for spending on these flowers for me guys.... and of course the balloons and your stupid leek Marcus.... T^T

I think that's about it....... Got a lot of videos, but wa damn gangkor to upload. Need upload one by one and take damn long to upload one. Lazy sia, basically just me usual shenanigans in school HEHE!

My journey in Poly has finally ended...

It's hard to convey whatever I have gone through during the past 3 years into words. I'm glad it's over, and I have already graduated 1.5 years ago HAHAHA! Honestly, I don't know what else to say. It's been so long, and all the unpleasant memories have already been wiped out, ok lah not completely, but I know that I'm no longer depressed or abhorred anymore; I mean it's water under the bridge already y'know.

All I can think of now are all the pleasant, wonderful memories, and of course, people that I thank God for placing into my life through poly. You guys know who you are, ain't a lot of you anyway HAHAHAHA! It's because of you people, I can't say that I entirely regret coming to TP.

Fucking hate my course and the majority of the people here though, but I'm grateful for the lessons I've gone through and learned even though I had to reluctantly conform and adhere to it LOL. It was fucking tough I kid you not, but on the other hand, it has taught me resilience, discipline, and perseverance. You have to go through hell to learn shit loads of meaningful values, and I believe it's only by going through a difficult phase/situation you learn to be stronger, and definitely more mature.

Thank you Temasek Poly, and also Culinary and Catering Management for everything, for building me into the person I am today, much stronger and braver than before. Shout out to Mr Jeremy Sim and Mr Vincent Tan for being the 2 best lecturers anyone could ever ask for. Thank you for the things you have done for me, and thank you for being lecturers I could count and rely on. I deeply appreciate both of you so much, and even though I hate CCM to the max, I don't hate you 2 at all HAHAHA! You guys are so awesome, and our education system ought to be so thankful to have you 2 as educators. :)

Okie, I think I have said enough, I'm starting to be long-winded LOL.

Also, if any of you are going through a rough time, hit me up!!!!! Email me at Gillianyhs@gmail.com, I promise you I'll reply to you, and I will be here. :) You are not alone okay, if I can do it, you can do it too!!!!!!! JIAYOU! <3

I have finally concluded this blog post that has been hanging for 1.5 years oh my tianz.

Ciao!!!!!!!!!!!